Author Topic: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'  (Read 123 times)

BadEnglish

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Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
« on: 24 January, 2023, 18:35:25 pm »
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  • If you have one or more  ;D
    Especially CNY's time.

    Ed.YANG

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #1 on: 24 January, 2023, 19:24:50 pm »
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  • no need to compare.
    before they reach 12, the boys KKJs will be about the same length... and pointy with those excess foreskins. don't ask me how i know. just recall how it looks when you're young.

    Ed.YANG

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #2 on: 25 January, 2023, 12:01:42 pm »
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  • a beer kaki who had been following my threads on TV tech development and deals discussion last nite just message to me... calling me as a thread killer.

    i know... sometimes, some folks here... would think that i'm one another rubbish thrower to kill off some folks mood. however to serious topics like this here...
    ...before they reach 12, the boys KKJs will be about the same length... and pointy with those excess foreskins...
    ...what i meant was everyone of us would have expectations on our juniors. however, we would expect 30% or more in returns in comparison to what we were expected from our parents when we were younger like our juniors are. so... is comparative comparison compulsory? the only time we may see how our juniors are different from others, is how much they score... not by how much time, and effort they put in, in the end after PSLE, they score themselves into Express or Normal streams when they swim into secondary level of education wave. i would rather prefer how much they understand the questions, than just looking at the questions and screwing hard in their minds for formulas to solution.

    if you think Express students will have success in later life, you're wrong.
    (for a quick reference, remember that scholarship MOE fella who turned up to be a gay pedophile?)
    if you think Normal students will be condemned in later life, you're wrong.
    (ehh... Sim Wong Hoo is uni-grad or VITB grad?)

    in simple, if we as fathers, are to have comparative minds like what some spouse are... we cannot expect our juniors to have a fun young age, disciplined teenage, serious working age, well managing adult age, and then relaxing middle age...


    boxerfan88

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #3 on: 25 January, 2023, 12:35:25 pm »
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  • If success is defined as wealth & money…

    …it’s not the person with highest IQ that makes it…

    …anecdotal evidence shows the person with very high “grit” & “drive” has a higher probability of making it.

    Let the kids enjoy their childhood, while guiding them to develop grit & drive. They will do quite well.
    « Last Edit: 25 January, 2023, 12:38:09 pm by boxerfan88 »
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    BadEnglish

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #4 on: 25 January, 2023, 12:48:23 pm »
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  • My children are working adults and yet their mother is still comparing  :-X My daughter just complained !

    Spunky

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #5 on: 25 January, 2023, 13:00:23 pm »
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  • My children are working adults and yet their mother is still comparing  :-X My daughter just complained !

    Wife and I aren't high achievers so we don't usually compare.  BUT...the kids have different ideas...indulge in peer comparison coz don't want to be 'not high achievers' like us!!  It's fine...but it can stress them a lot over small things.

    Ed.YANG

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #6 on: 25 January, 2023, 13:11:14 pm »
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  • ...Let the kids enjoy their childhood, while guiding them to develop grit & drive. They will do quite well.
    in between teenage and working age... there's adult hood. NS is a good period of teenage turn adult, to determine how much pressure the juniors are able to take when their "freedom" is controlled by "restrictions" where they can't flex the muscles of their "defiance".
    however to get them ready for such pressure, disciplinary actions have to be enforced of slowly blended in when they're in their puberty period till teenage. not just for boys, but also girls. it's hard and challenging to execute such disciplinary teaching, as our hands are tightened up by the government's rule and regulations. it's quite a big contrast to majority of our grandparents era, where majority of locals were still living in kampongs and carried the tradition of caning and whacking.

    LKY didn't whack LHL and LHY when they were very young. considering that the Lee family is so fuckin elite and rich that they lived in their own fuckin sanctuary, and LKY juniors were to be protected from potential threats from society and influences during their schooling age. should LHL and LHY were to live together with most other communities during the beginning of the HDB age... do you think they would be what they are today?

    Ed.YANG

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #7 on: 25 January, 2023, 13:18:00 pm »
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  • My children are working adults and yet their mother is still comparing  :-X My daughter just complained
    have a private time with your wife, talk over a meal. find out what she expects to get from her working adult daughters, then later give her your analytical thoughts on the possible scenarios, with 7:3 ratio of negative to positive results/impacts if she keep on pressuring her daughters... if she takes your analytical suggestions/thoughts, the pressure will be lightened.

    no matter how... just don't let her to bring in faith/beliefs influence in the conversations.
    or else... you'll be "magnetized" and add double whammy pressures to your daughters as well.

    BadEnglish

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #8 on: 25 January, 2023, 13:38:44 pm »
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  • have a private time with your wife, talk over a meal. find out what she expects to get from her working adult daughters, then later give her your analytical thoughts on the possible scenarios, with 7:3 ratio of negative to positive results/impacts if she keep on pressuring her daughters... if she takes your analytical suggestions/thoughts, the pressure will be lightened.

    no matter how... just don't let her to bring in faith/beliefs influence in the conversations.
    or else... you'll be "magnetized" and add double whammy pressures to your daughters as well.

    Did i say my wife ? :-[
    I thought I said their mother

    Ed.YANG

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #9 on: 25 January, 2023, 13:58:42 pm »
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  • ooopz... i've forgotten that in the category of MARRIAGE, DIVORCED exists... plot thickens, when children blood bonded with separated father, would be restricted on interference if custody of children goes to the separated mother. my apologies...

    BadEnglish

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #10 on: 25 January, 2023, 14:03:55 pm »
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  • DivorcedES exist ;D

    You wrong again.  Custody is for child below 18. My children are working adults that's why I feel so ridiculous.

    BadEnglish

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #11 on: 25 January, 2023, 14:06:43 pm »
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  • Wife and I aren't high achievers so we don't usually compare.  BUT...the kids have different ideas...indulge in peer comparison coz don't want to be 'not high achievers' like us!!  It's fine...but it can stress them a lot over small things.

    Yeah understand. My daughter went through that while she was in JC.
    After working for a few years,  she is a lot happier compared with her JC and Poly times.

    ysl

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    Re: Serious : Do you compare your child(ren) with your friends'
    « Reply #12 on: 28 January, 2023, 10:31:33 am »
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  • If success is defined as wealth & money…

    …it’s not the person with highest IQ that makes it…

    …anecdotal evidence shows the person with very high “grit” & “drive” has a higher probability of making it.

    Let the kids enjoy their childhood, while guiding them to develop grit & drive. They will do quite well.

    well said thumb up